I have always enjoyed shopping at Target because the store always introduces me to stuff I didn’t know I needed. Saturday morning was no exception.

I had time to waste which means going to Target should have been the last place I went to. Nevertheless, I wandered in right when the doors opened at 8am, eager to try on workout clothes because I could.

My fitting room at Target is always one color, purple. Be is size XL or XXL from the women’s or junior’s department, it is a shade of purple. I always fell into that size category so it is what I am used to seeing. Purple color coated hangers. I truly always hated them, the colors make it so obvious what size you’re carrying in your hand. I would hold my hand in a way so that others could not see what I had. Hand placement game was on point.

Saturday morning however, I was feeling bold. No one was in the store so if I had to swap sizes, no witnesses. I grabbed all size L, blue color coated hangers. With much trepidation I tried on the first shirt. Oh my, it fits and looks good. A wave of relief rushed over me; I wasn’t being overly optimistic. The second shirt, too big. The shorts, they fit but I will never wear these. Fitting room and success are two words that typically never go together for me.

I returned to the racks to swap my too big size L shirt for a size M, green hanger. Now I was completely thrown off. The sizes in my hand looked so bizarre. 
When the size M shirt fit, an internal happy dance happened. Remember, it was only 8:30am by now, too early for actual dancing. 

And just like that Target got me to purchase two shirts that I really did need. A girl can never have enough workout clothes anyways.

I am a few days away from my birthday and am cautiously optimistic I am going to hit one of the two weight goals I set. The goals actually fall 1.1 pounds apart, seeing 40 lbs lost, 201 or 199.9 pounds. It’s been awhile since I have admitted my weight to y’all so in case you’re wondering my last weigh in I was at 203. 

Author’s note: Soon after this post went to publish, I discovered I hit 40lbs lost in mid-March, a few weeks before my birthday. In a nutshell, I discovered I used to weigh more than I thought 🙁 

I cringe at number goals, even more so cause I don’t want to upset myself on my birthday over my relationship to gravity. Maybe this blog post is a pep talk, a reminder of the confidence I found with color coated clothes hangers over the weekend. To reinforce that yesterday in yoga I held a plank a lot longer than I expected. That I am wearing tank tops more and caring about if my arms are good enough less. A realization that even after waffle-battered-Oreos I don’t throw in the towel but simply carry on. Everyday is an opportunity for awesome.

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