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“I am totally not cut out for this. What if I make a fool of myself? Look at everyone else, so much stronger. I could have just signed up for barre and been comfortable. Does my leggings make my butt look good? Class is starting, can I run out now?”

My thoughts before every new studio I attend on ClassPass.

2015 was a rough year for me. Rough would be an understatement. Nevertheless, I started 2016 with the determination to make 2016 my year. I wanted it all! The weight loss, the muscles, the attitude of success. But to reach the weight loss and the muscles, my attitude had to come first.

“Our own belief system can be our best or worst enemy. It can inspire us or completely derail us. Inaccurate/negative thoughts can lead to unproductive patterns that can get us to a point we completely believe them for face value. They indeed become our truth and changing them feels near impossible. The reason I either gain or lose weight is linked to how I think about myself/situation around me. My actions are the consequence of those thoughts. How I let my belief system influence me today will 100% dictate success or struggle.” – I Believe I Can from my February 2 blog post.

On January 4 I signed up for Washington, DC ClassPass (CP). If you’re unfamiliar with CP, it is a monthly subscription service that gives you access to boutique fitness studios in your area. As I call it, my buffet of fitness. Each day hundreds of classes are at your fingertips to try. Through the app or website you sign up for a class and go, with the ability to reserve four classes at a time. Signing up, I knew I would be pushed outside of my comfort zone. I couldn’t just take classes from my favorite studios over and over again. To get the full experience, I would have to try new ones.

Every time I tap “reserve now” in the CP app I am reaffirming my belief in myself. Even if I grapevine right when everyone goes left or fall on my face in a downward dog, I am going to try. The same applies to my weight loss. My progress this year isn’t by accident. I am not magically losing weight almost every week. I believe in myself. Because I know I can do this, no matter how challenging it sometimes feels. Making the most of my day even when my lunch had enough calories to be an entire day’s worth of food. It also doesn’t hurt that CP probably has something to do with this progress as well. Hi muscles, glad we could finally meet.

My confidence in myself is stronger than ever. Even when I doubt if I have it all together, like a jumbo margarita and fajitas followed by a nap, feeling like a sloth doubt, I carry on. The next meal is tracked, the next CP studio is scheduled, and I own my journey because I can. 
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