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First time for everything, I purchased a legit professional picture from the Marine Corps Marathon, a full year later.

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While my friend took some photos of us right before the finish line, I needed that photo proof that the finish line was actually crossed a year ago. Today’s #MCM has a double meaning. Thanks boo for sticking it out 26.2 miles with me.

Running and I have always been in a love/hate relationship. Some people forget the 26.2 distance and sign up for another. I, however, remember every soul sucking minute. I legit thought I was going to die and almost threw myself into a medical tent I passed. I still wonder if the race aged me by 10 years.

Nevertheless, a year has passed and it is time to ponder if a long distance running relationship is in my future. I cancelled two half marathons I had planned this fall, one is actually this weekend in Philadelphia. Earlier this year I was optimistic that my passion would return. Yet each month passed and any workout seemed better than a training run. Signing up for a race just doesn’t give me that motivation that it once did. I also have experienced a year full of more POTS symptoms, another wrench thrown into the mix. Anyone with a chronic illness can relate that sometimes life is just about getting by.

I blog less, I run less, I don’t complete much of anything nowadays besides the daily grind. I am working on my anxiety and forcing myself to stop caring about my weight. It is exhausting hating yourself every day.

I am proud of my accomplishment a year ago but ultimately have no desire to toe the starting line of a marathon again. My life just won’t accommodate it, even a year later, and that is okay. Sometimes life just needs to sort itself out first, one day at a time.

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